Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
one might say we're banned from that church
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
