Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
