did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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