I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
