i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
