Small penises have feelings too.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
