she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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