1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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