Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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