hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
