My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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