How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
