i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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