yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
