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he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
