also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
