you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
