Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
