Four minutes until I can fart!
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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