You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize