Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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