Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
