Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'm always down for nudity.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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