You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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