I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
