Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
