That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize