You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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