...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
