Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
