yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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