Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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