I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
