He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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