atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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