oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
