I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize