You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you win again, gameday.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
