It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
