she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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