You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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