can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
