I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
