I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
