i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
