I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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