I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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