I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
