I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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