Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Michael Bay diarrhea
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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