this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You are a genius and a whore.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
