Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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