he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I understand Curling. That high.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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