Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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