Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
MIDGETS
????
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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