you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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