How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
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I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
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He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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