So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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