Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
