So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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