I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
