We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
