Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
