living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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