my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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